What if I
by Suhlienuh
Summary: Eli didn't pass his exams and wants to spend the last year with his beloved so they can leave for columbia and NYU together. Eclare fanfic 3. Rating might go up soon, not sure yet.
1. Prom night part 1

_**Author's note:**_this chapter is mostly litteraly repeated the text of the time of my life, after this and the next one, it will be totally off, but I REALLY loved the ep. So that's why I used it.. There are changes.. Clare doesn't have cancer and because I don't like writing them when they're far apart Eli failed :3.. well have fun and.. review review review~

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_**Chapter 1: Promnight part 1**_

_**Eli's POV**_

"Hurry, hurry", Imogen said.

"What's the rush?", I asked her. We were almost running through the building of the prom that night.

"Fiones wants the menu by twelve o'clock and it's 11:59."

"If were a few minutes late big deal", I said

Humongous deal, Fiona's made for months to make this prom perfect, and I, Imogen Moreno, won't disappoint."

Imogen stumbled and fell down.

"Are you okay?", I asked.

"Yeah, sorry."

"You don't have to be sorry."

Then my eyes fell on the closed envelop. "you still haven't opened your report card?!" I asked.

"Yeah, it must have slipped my mind." "Is that your final answer?", I said back. That envelop of doom for all the seniors.

"The content of this envelop seals my faith. If I pass I can go to designing school with Fiona, if I fail I have to spend another year on Degrassi, alone."

"Just open it", I said and I gave her the envelop. I could see she failed by the look on her face.

"You know, you're not the only one", I said and I smiled towards her. I failed, but just. It sucked but at least now I knew I wasn't the only one.

I heard heels ticking on the floor and saw Fiona coming towards us.

"There you are. Do you have the menus?", she asked.

Imogen put down her envelop and said: "I don't want to worry her on prom night."

"Don't tell me the printer got it wrong", Fiona said.

"Don't be such a worrywart", Imogen said. She was a pretty good actress, I guess because Fiona didn't seem to sense Imogen's disappointment.

"You're right", she said, "Okay, time for the great reveal". The three of us walked into the room. It looked better than the year before. But I guess the year before had bad memories for everyone. The shooting at the party wasn't really a highlight of the night.

"Is it too much?", Fiona asked.

"Fiones, it's like, it's like a movie", Imogen replied. Meanwhile I was walking away. I still had a lot to take care of.

"And we are the stars", Fiona said. I rolled my eyes when they started kissing and grabbed my phone.

"Hello, with Eli Goldsworthy, I was wondering at what time I could get the carriage I arranged for today."_"A mister Goldsworthy, you can come around 5.30 pm to pick up your carriage."_ "Thank you, I will be there", I replied and hung up. Now I only needed to get dressed for tonight. The night of the fairytale.

_**Clare's POV**_

"Ooh lala, what about this one?" Alli said while holding out a purple dress with some black details. We weren't seniors yet, but Jenna and Alli already wanted to go to the prom. We also went last year, the year everything went terribly wrong with Adam. We were so shocked when he was shocked. He was so lucky he's survived it.

"Alli, I told you I'm not going to prom.", I said back.

Jenna started: "But what about-". "Don't say that name", I interrupted, but Alli continued: "Eli."

I looked mad and Alli sighed: "But hasn't he send you like a dozen voice mails?"

"Yeah, well he wanted space, so I gave him a lot", I replied. Eli had hurt me a lot in the past, but the last time when we tried to talk and he broke up with me, was the most horrible one. He was showering in the ladies dress room, and undressed him while all the girls were watching. He even run through school naked. I knew it was drugs, but it was terrible.

"Well, you know what they say, looking good is the best revenge."

I sighed and continued looking through some clothes.

"She is right you know", I heard and I looked up. "Sorry, have we met?", I asked. I couldn't remember seeing him before.

He reached out his hand and said: "Cliff Jacobs, I'm in you history class." We shook hands.

I felt a little bit embarrassed and remembered him. "o right, sorry", I smiled at him.

Some guys walked towards Cliff signing they were leaving. "See you around", he said and started leaving. "Okay", I replied, while he was walking away.

"What about all the people who want you two together?" Jenna said all of a sudden.

"What people?", I said a bit annoyed.

"You guys are finalists for prom king and queen", Jenna said back.

"Okay, for the last time, Eli and I are done", I said.

"And for the last time, I don't buy it", Ali replied.

I looked at them and came up with an idea. I walked towards Cliff who still didn't really leave. "Hey, uh, Cliff. Do you have a date for prom?", I asked. "No, why?", he replied.

"Well, I don't have either so maybe we can go together."

"Uh, sure I pick you up around 7", he said and walked away.

Now I didn't have to hear about Eli anymore. I bought the dress Alli showed me and we went to my house together.

We started getting ready. Alli was doing my make up and Jenna was doing hers. I knew this would be perfect. Prom with my best friends. We partied a bit while getting ready already getting in the mood for prom. Of course we didn't do as much effort as we would do next year, since it wasn't our prom. I was glad this was the last evening I'd have to see Eli. I could finally end the chapter of Mr. Goldsworthy.

We put on our dresses and while Alli was doing her own make up, I walked up to her. "Do you think Cliff is short for Clifford or Clifton?", I asked.

"Uhm, Heahtclif", she replied. I know she was referring to the main character of Wuthering Heights. "No! No, torture romantic heroes. Tonight is about fun, new people and new experiences."

"And making Eli jealous", Jenna said. It hit me, since I knew it was right, but I denied it. "How Eli feels is irrelevant." I tried to get rid of the Eli subject. "Cliff is really cute, isn't he?", I said quickly.

"Total dreambo", Jenna said. We looked at her questioning she knew that she just said. After a few seconds she did and said: "Don't tell connor I said that." We laughed.

"Clare, your prom date is here", I heard Glen yell.

"Alli, could you zip me up?", I said. "Yeah sure."

"Be careful, maybe he's a murderer", Jenna joked. "Well, at least if I die, I don't have to hear Eli's name again."

After she'd zipped me up I sprinted downstairs.

_**Eli's POV**_

There I was, right before the door of my beloved. I was dressed like some Disney prince, even included with a cute little fake sword. I was nervous and couldn't place my sword anywhere. Because of my nervous behavior I didn't hear that she'd opened the door. I turned around finally able to fit the sword and tried to take a prince pose, which was pretty hard in the carriage. I had to catch my breath for a second when I saw her, but then started talking.

"You said we weren't a fairytale", I paused for a second, "I'm gonna prove you wrong." I could hear Jenna and Alli giggle from the balcony. Clare looked annoyed to the girls.

All of a sudden there walked in another guy and he looked at me and Clare.

"Who are you", I asked him.

"Cliff, her, uh, date", he answered, "who are you?"

"Eli, her, uh, soul mate." I was surprised Clare had found a new date in this short amount of time.

Clare looked nervous and didn't know what to do. I tried to talk to her, but she had already decided.

It was hard to do, but I let her go with Cliff. I knew I had the entire dance to win her over. I knew with the help of Fiona it would work. I went to the prom by myself, and I felt terrible. I waited for a while so the rejection wouldn't look so bad. By the time I arrived, Alli and Jenna already were there which meant Clare probably also was there. After a while I spotted her and that guy, Cliff, on the dance floor. I sat down at my table, alone. The place next to me was reserved for Clare. I started playing a bit with the silverware.


	2. Prom night part 2

_**Author's**_** n****ote:**Damn, I takes me longer to write down the entire episode than I though ( I STILL NEED THE AWESOME PART OF ALLI AND SUCH). So, I lied at my first chapter.. the next will also have litteral text (srsly, I've seen the Eclare pieces so much, and still I sometimes don't understand them), but will also have made up texts (more than this one and the first one, though I did change some parts ;3)Not sure how detailed the deed is going to be (i.e. changing the stuff to M instead of T). Well,, enjoy and review review review~.

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Chapter 2:

Prom night part 2

_**Clare's POV**_

It was nice to dance with Cliff, at least it took my mind of Eli. I was so touched when he showed up in front of my door as prince. But I couldn't forgive him again, I had to stand up for myself.

I looked at Cliff smiled and said: "You know what I love about you? You're dependable. I've known you for twelve hours and you haven't broken a commitment. Best prom date ever" I really hoped I could convince myself more than convincing Cliff.

"What about the prince charming get up? A carriage, so romantic." Even Cliff wasn't on my side. But guess he didn't know enough. So before he could give his opinion I had to inform him.

"You know what's not romantic? Breaking up with someone after you told them you're all in." While I said this I was looking at Eli. He looked sad and lonely. I almost wanted to go to him and tell him everything's going to be alright. It really touched me and made me feel bad, but I had to disguise that. I couldn't.

"We had a plan. He was gonna go to NYU, I was gonna follow next year to Columbia, we would get a student apartment in Brooklyn." I hadn't noticed we stopped dancing and were staring at Eli.

"Sounds dreamy", Cliff replied.

"Maybe you should date him", I said. I tried to sound funny, but it came out pretty sad.

"Man, I wish."

I stared for a second after his answer and smiled when I got it. "You're gay."

We both laughed before Cliff continued: "It's clear you still love the guy. So what's the problem?"

Even Cliff gave the same advice as everyone while I'd only known him for a couple of hours. Nobody got me, everyone was at Eli's side. He hurt me again, he went against his promise. But maybe he had a point.

"Okay ladies and gentlemen, are you ready to meet your prom king and queen", Fiona announced. Drew and Bianca were the couple with the biggest chances in my eyes, but Marisol and Mo also had a chance.

Everyone was looking forward to this and started clapping. Fiona continued: "okay, drumroll please." It was so cheesy but I guess that was part of a prom. "The couple with the most votes", she paused for a second, "is Eli Goldsworthy and Clare Edwards." I couldn't believe it. Why is faith against me. "You gotta be kidding me."

"Eli, Clare, come up here and get crowned."

It was too much, I had to leave for now. I ran away, leaving Cliff alone.

_**Eli's POV**_

Fiona kept her promise. Making us prom king and queen, making us a real fairytale.

I hurried up the stage and stood besides Fiona.

"Alright, we've got our king. Has anyone seen our queen?"

I looked for Clare in a slightly rumored crowd.. I did find a surprised date, not seeming to totally understand what just happened.

Fiona fixed up fast: "Okay, uh, let just give her a minute", she said. "Or two", she mumbled.

I stood there for a moment, looking at Fiona and to the crowd. I felt terrible for ruining Clare's evening. I thought she'd love it. I was wrong, and I had to fix this. I had to find her. Fiona handed me the crowns and told me to look for her. I wasn't sure whether it was for me or for her to have no flaws on her prom.

I ran towards Cliff. "Have you seen Clare?", I asked him.

"She said something like you have to be kidding me and took off."

I knew she'd stay at Alli's, she did that after every party, so I headed towards Alli, Jenna and Connor. "Hey prom king, nice outfit", Alli said.

"Yeah, although we laughed, I really loved the carriage and everything", Jenna said.

"Guys, I don't have time for this. Has any of you seen Clare? I have to find her", I said with an urgent look.

"No, but the good news is that that means she's still here since she can't go to my home by herself", Alli said. I could see the sympathy in her eyes.

"Thanks for the help, I'll go look some more."

After searching for ten minutes I hadn't find her in the ballroom, so I went to look for her in the hallways. You could still hear the music everywhere. The cliché terrible sounds of pop music and some romantic songs in between. I could hear the song_ time of my life _playing when I finally found her. She was near the wardrobe, and she was crying. I walked close to her and asked: "Things don't work out with your date?" I couldn't go straight to the point, well not more than this.

She looked at me with her beautiful blue eyes covered in those bad tears. "Please, you need to stop", she said.

I didn't thought breaking up with her that time had hurt her so much. But she had to know why.

"Clare, I was messed up after Cam, I wasn't thinking. But a day hasn't gone by I haven't missed you." The words came straight out of my heart and she could hear that.

"Me too", she said still a little bit crying and softly. I had to do it now. I at least had to know.

"Then WHY can't you forgive and forget?"

She stood up. "Because you bailed on me", she said letting out her emotions. I finally got the problem. I wished it wasn't this though. I looked at her and sighed.

"I'm a production-assistant on Brent Barnett's new film. I leave tomorrow."

Clare was shocked by this news. I didn't tell her before because I couldn't find the right moment. But I guess this was that moment.

"Tomorrow?", she asked a bit unbelieving. I guess she didn't want to believe. There was a moment of silence. "So we only have one night left."

"Yeah, so let's not waste it", I said. I stared in her eyes and could see she was softening. She loved me, and I loved her.

"What do you say, my queen?", I asked and handed her the crown. After a second of hesitation she took it. We smiled and I kissed her. It was going to be the time of our lives.

"Now go fix yourself, so we can go back, my love", I said and we walked towards the restrooms.

_**Clare's POV**_

I went to the restroom to fix my make-up and Eli waited for me to return. I was so happy, but sad at the same time. Happy to have my love back, but sad to know we only got tonight. Who would know when I'd see him again. Although I almost started crying again at that thought, I didn't. I didn't want to waste any more tears this evening.

As soon as I left the restroom, we walked back into the magnificent ballroom and started dancing, like we should've done the entire evening. I was glad it was a slow song, so we could stand close to eachother.

"Who would have thought, the guy who used to drive a hearse and dress up all in black, would end up as prom king", Eli said during the dance.

"I don't believe all these people voted for us", I said. I liked it, but how could we stand up against people like Drew.

"Correction, some of them voted for us." I had to laugh at that.

"I knew you rigged it. How?", the last part came out like a whisper.

"Let's just say, I owe Fiona a huge favor. It was worth it"

I felt so honored. He did all this stuff, just for me. I blushed and smiled by this thought.

"Thank you. I'm not giving up"

"Never", Eli agreed.

After a short silence, I continued: "So, what do kids do on prom night these days?"

"Ooh I don't know, get drunk, get a room..", Eli answered.

"having sex?", I whispered in his ear. Although I planned on keeping virgin till marriage, I felt this was the right moment.

Eli looked at me with a combination of disbelief and excitement. He had waited all this time for me. We stared for a second in each other's eyes. He had such beautiful eyes, green like the emerald.

We kissed and left the dance floor.

We walked towards the wardrobe, for some privacy, and kissed. We kissed with all the passion that flowed through our veins.

"I love you so much", Eli murmured between two kisses.

"Eli", was all I could say. We kissed more, until I realized this would end up in sex. And I know that was the goal, but I didn't really want to lose it in some wardrobe. I stopped the kissing with pain in my heart and said: "Okay, we can't have sex in here. If we would rent in a hotel, where they have rooms."

"don't you have a creditcard?", Eli asked.

I reached in my purse and grabbed the plastic card. "Only given to me for emergencies."

"I think this qualifies", Eli replied soon. I could see how much he wanted this. For us to be one.

_**Eli's POV**_

When we kissed I heard something and pulled away. It was the sound I was familiar with this evening. It was the sounds tears. I wasn't sure until I heard it a second time.

"did you hear something?", I asked Clare. We looked at one of the racks and shoved some coats to the sides, to find a crying Imogen.

She tried to act her way out. "Nothing to see, just looking for my contact." This wasn't one of her best works, especially with her glasses on her nose.

"I'll go tell Alli I'm not sleeping over", Clare said and walked away. I turned back to Imogen and took off my crown.

"You look pretty upset over a lost contact", I said to start a conversation. Imogen stood up and started walking.

"I didn't lose my contact, I lost Fiona."

I followed her. "Unlikely, if Clare and I can work it out, anyone can."

Imogen stopped walking and faced me. "All she cares about is that stupid job."

I didn't get the problem. "Then help her get it."

Imogen glared at me. "So my girlfriend can be thousands of miles away from me?"

"better than no girlfriend at all", I replied. Maybe I was too harsh, but at least I was honest.

I hit Imogen with this comment and she was quiet. She knew I was right.

I took her back to the dance floor and went looking for my own queen.


	3. Prom night part 3

_**Author's note:**_Well, I kind of liked it. What I'm going to do now, I'm not sure yet (well, the storyline I know,just not the direct following part) since it's almost time for me to go to school (it's 14:22 here) and leave you till sunday evening, I thought to at least upload something.

Well have fun and **please review review review~**

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Chapter 3:

Prom night part 3

_**Clare's POV**_

I hurried towards Jenna and Alli. I was so happy and wanted to tell the good news, but above all I wanted to know how.. well it works. They were both experienced and I could use the info.

When I reached them I started: "Guys, I need your advice." It was so awkward, but I started now.

"Ow, is this about Eli, I saw you too dancing", Alli replied. I didn't know they'd paid any attention to that. Well, I guess they wanted me to be happy, and now I could make them.

"We're back together." Alli's reaction was some sort of supersonic sound and a high-five of both. I guess that was expectable.

Now I had to come to business.

"And.. we're going to.." I couldn't say the word so I made a little sign with my head. Why can't I just say the word? Well, at least they got it.

They looked at each other and Jenna started speaking: "On prom night?"

"O, I know it's so cliché." But while I was saying cliché Jenna interrupted and said: "Romantic."

I laughed for a second.

"This isn't because he's going away is it?", Alli started. I guess she was worried about the reasons for my sudden decision.

"No, actually I totally forgot about that." I felt sad thinking about it again, so Alli quickly tried to get back in the happy mood with saying: "Well, good."

"So back to..", Jenna said and made a weird move with her body. I guess everyone found it weird to talk about it.

"Any last minute advice?"

"Well, be safe", Alli said. As if she didn't know me. The Saint Clare, or how everyone calls me.

"Of course", I said back.

"And don't be concerned if it's weird", Jenna said. I didn't expect to hear that. I didn't really get what she meant either.

"Weird, like kinky?", I asked. They shook their heads, as if I said something weird.

"Awkward", Jenna said, "O and it can hurt a little." I was getting scared. If it was like this, why would anyone ever do this stuff.

"Before or after?", I asked. This seemed harder than I thought.

"Both", they said together.

"But don't worry, it'll be over before you know it", Jenna tried to motivate, though it didn't.

"Yeah, like a minute, two tops", Alli agreed and Jenna nodded agreeing. Why did they do it if it was like that. Why did I ask them for advice? I really started to think this was a terrible idea. Well, now I could at least continue asking, it couldn't get really worse anymore.

"Anything else?"

"Um, just keep your expectations low and you won't be disappointed", Alli said. Would sex with Eli be disappointing?

_**Eli's POV**_

I walked towards Clare who was still talking to Alli and Jenna.

"Ready?", I asked. And I heard some high sound escaping Alli's mouth.

"Have fun you two", she said and she and Jenna started to make some weird moves, referring to our romantic night. We stared for a second and then started to walk away.

"You told them?", I asked, though it was pretty obvious.

"I really wish I hadn't", she replied. I could imagine that. But I guess it was cute Clare did. Though, I wondered where they'd been talking about. I grabbed my two coats, noticing Clare forgot hers. I gave her my black coat so she would keep warm in the carriage. I mean, I had to continue the fairytale dream now I started it. We walked towards the carriage and I helped her getting in.

"thank you", she softly said and kissed me. I gave directions to nearby hotel and the ride started. It was a magnificent night, without any clouds at the sky, only stars and the moon, as if even the sky could feel the setting. We cuddled and kissed the entire ride.

It wasn't a long ride and as soon as we got in, Clare rented a room and we headed towards the room. I hold her hand and noticed Clare wasn't 100% comfortable. I knew Jenna and Alli had done something to ruin this. We entered hallway with our room.

"Your palms are sweaty", I said to break the ice.

"You really know how to romance a girl", Clare said a bit teasing.

"You aren't nervous, are you?"

"It's just we've waited for so long, built up so long to this moment, what if it's a disappointment?" So that was what they'd been talking about. I had to show Clare it wouldn't be. I would give Clare the night of her dreams.

"Okay, stand still", I said. I looked in her eyes and leaned in to kiss her.

"Was that a disappointment?", I asked. She blushed a bit and answered softly: "No."

I leaned in for another kiss. A longer and more passionate one this time. After we finished Clare was a bit flustered. Her breathless moment was so sweet.

"And how about that?", I continued. She didn't reply, but I could read the answer on her face. It was everything but a disappointment.

"Just... let me know when it goes down-hill", I said and we started kissing again, kissing and opening the door.

I looked in to the room. The hotel probably expected lots of high school couples since it was filled with lit candles. It was cheesy, but beautiful at the same time.

_**Clare's POV**_

It was perfect. The dream of every girl. A romantic room, with candles and a prince charming.

I walked through the room and Eli held me tight, following me. I felt butterflies all over, this was the moment.

"It's beautiful", I said. I turned towards Eli.

"So are you", he said and we started kissing again. While we were kissing I started to unbutton his blouse. We fell on the bed and continued kissing. It felt as if it was meant to be. "I love you", I whispered in Eli's ear before I continued putting off his blouse. No matter how many times I'd seen him shirtless, I still was caught breathless for a second. It was so beautiful. He was beautiful. I felt his hand going to my back to unzip my dress. I was nervous for a second, but I trusted Eli. I looked in his green eyes and I could see the gentle sweetness of him. He gently stroke my hair and stared back in my eyes. I could feel a blush on my face. Then he carefully took off my dress, still staring in my eyes. I started to take off his pants. Even though this was the perfect moment, I could feel my heart beating faster than ever. I was nervous and excited.

We crawled under the blankets before continuing. Eli took care of my body with soft touches, stroking of my side, stroking my face. He slowly took off my bra, and took gentle care of me. He kissed my neck, which made me escape a soft moan. He looked up and smile.

"I love you, Clare Diane Edwards", he said before continuing kissing me. I started touching him back, and not long after we started making love.


	4. graduation day

_**Author's**_** note: **I know this one isn't that long and stuff and I didn't update for the entire week, but if I don't upload it now it'll be monday at it's soonest :P. It's not that good though, but i felt soo empty this entire week D:. Well,, have fun and tell me what you want next :3 wieeh. So review review review~

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_**Eli's POV**_

I woke up due to some sunlight that was coming through the curtains. Clare was still sleeping and her head was placed on my chest.

I couldn't stop thinking about last night, how all of a sudden my dearest Clare, Saint Clare for god's sake, was ready for the next step. We finally had sex. Don't get me wrong, I didn't mind waiting since I knew Clare and I would be together whenever that would be, but still it was nice to finally take that next step.

I was playing a little with Clare's hair and looking around in the room. At night it had looked way better, but it wasn't that bad. I mean, I would choose different furniture and I wouldn't mind changing the color of the walls, but it was okay. Plus this place would always have something special now.

I grinned at that thought when I suddenly heard a soft sleepy sound. "Why are you laughing? You woke me up and I was just dreaming so nice", she said.

"Why dream about me when I'm already right next to you?", I teased.

"Smug", was her only reply and even that didn't sound to convincing. I knew I was right and I felt happy about the little victory.

"So what did you do in your dream? Or did you just dreamed of what kind of sex god I am?"

She softly hit me and tried to suppress a smile. "Ouch, miss Edwards, I'm sensitive."

She started tickling me and I pressed her down the bed and tickled her back.

"Eli, I need to go to the bathroom", she said almost in tears. I let go of her and she walked into the bathroom.

I could hear the shower turn on and lay down with my eyes closed.

After 20 minutes Clare returned. I looked at the clock and decided it was time for a shower myself. I kissed her and went to the shower.

_**Clare's POV**_

While I was waiting for Eli to return all I could do was think about the beautiful night. None of what Jenna and Alli said was true. It was perfect, he was perfect. I almost felt stupid for waiting so long for this moment. But soon he'll leave and I'll be alone. That thought saddened me. I dressed up and waited for Eli to come out of the shower.

When he was finally done, he came out and was only wearing a towel. I could feel my face turning red, but who wouldn't when their prince charming was right in front of them with just a towel. I kissed him but after a few minutes we really had to get ready to leave.

Eli dressed up and we went out of the room. While I was returning the key, Eli was taking care of our ride home.

All of a sudden the carriage of last night was right in front of the hotel.

"Ladies first", Eli said and gestured that I had to go in. With some help we sat down and started going home. It was still very cold and Eli put his jacket over me. I felt terrible when I saw the carriage entering my street.

We stopped in front of my house.

"So, do I look different?", I joked.

"Completely, they're gonna know we had sex as soon as they see you", Eli answered.

That made me laugh.

"I had a great night", Eli said. "Me too."

But I could feel the sadness coming to me. "I can't believe you leave in twelve hours", I said.

"I guess this'll be the last day we have together for a while", he answered, "what shall we do?"

I sighed. "You have to get ready for your graduation, and so do I", I said.

Eli started laughing. "You're not completely right, I'll go to the graduation, but it's not mine", he said. I looked at him not completely understanding what he meant.

"Like I said I was messed up after Cam. Just messed up enough to not pass."

I know I shouldn't but I felt relieved and happy.

"Why didn't you tell me sooner?", I asked and pushed him softly.

"I just wanted t get you into bed and if I told you this, we might never had ended there", he joked.

I hugged him and he kissed my head.

"Do you mind that I'm glad with this news?", I asked Eli.

"Not at all, miss Edwards, not at all."

"Well, see you later then", I said and I left the carriage.


	5. The department

_**Author's**_** not****e:**I will try to upload more from now on, although don't expect too much during the christmas holiday (boyfriend etc.) I don't like this chapter too much, but hell yeah, I had to write something so I could continue with where my thoughts were :3

have fun and...** review review review~**

_**Clare's POV**_

"Don't be so sad beautiful, it'll be over before you know it", Eli said. I couldn't believe he was leaving for the holiday. Of course I knew he'd come back soon, but I just didn't want him to leave.

I looked up to him with teary eyes,"I'm just going to miss you, that's all."

Eli kissed my head and smiled. "I'm going to miss you too, but remember I'm just a phone call away."

I hugged him and kissed him.

After the kiss he continued: "And besides, miss Edwards, you're going to Paris for three weeks and everyone knows France is the country of love."

I smiled: "Yeah, maybe I'll meet a Jean-Pierre, or a Jacques."

Eli acted hurt and I kissed him.

"I'll wait for your return."

He smiled at me. "I wouldn't expect anything else, I mean I'm just awesome."

I had to laugh. "Smug."

"Ouch miss Edwards, ouch. Are you planning on hurting me all the time?"

I hugged him and kissed him

_Flight 85 to New York is open for boarding_

I was dreading for that words. This would mean it'd really be the last minutes with him for now. Tears streamed down my cheek again and I held him tight.

"I'll think of you every minute of the day, I promise", he said and we kissed that typical movie kiss right before the beloved left. This was our movie and it's going to have a happy end. We will make that end.

We walked to the gate and Bullfrog and Cece said goodbye on their own ways. It was fun.

"Clare, come here. It's family picture moment", Bullfrog said all of a sudden.

I joined the group for a few pictures and some pictures of me and Eli afterwards.

Eli turned towards me and put a brown package in my hand.

"Don't open it before I've left", he said before kissing me and leaving.

"I love you, Eli", I yelled while he walked away.

He turned around and smiled. "I love you too, Clare Diana Edwards."

Some people were looking at us and pointing towards us. Eli walked away and the tears came back.

"Come Clare, we're going to drink and in half an hour we're going to wave", Cece said and she grabbed my hand.

Bullfrog and Cece were the best parents ever. They were sweet and loving, not just for their son, but also for each other and me.

We sat down in some expensive little place in the airport. We had a drink while Eli's parents talked about him in his childhood.

".. or when Eli had his adventurous period and he tried to climb a tree", Cece said and Bullfrog continued, "Yeah, he got up to the first few branches and all of a sudden remember his fear of heights and begged for help for five minutes." We laughed. I already could imagine Eli being stuck in a tree.

I never knew most of this stories. Each time I was at the Goldsworthy's his parents would tell a new story. The first time telling about some metallica concert or telling about how he already painted his nails at the age of eight because, and I quote what his mom said, 'he wanted funny nails instead of those ugly ones he had'.

We paid and headed back to the waiting room. We saw Eli's plane leaving and even though he didn't see or hear us, we waved and said goodbye on last time.

We headed to the car and once inside I was curious to open the package. The was a little note attached to another wrapped present.

_My queen, I hope you enjoyed each moment of last night. I know I did._

_This is a little replacement gift. I hope you like it, Cece helped me pick it. Screw women's taste!_

_-Eli_

I unwrapped the present and a ring was inside, with a gem shaped like a heart in the middle. I immediately put the ring on and loved it on my finger, hopefully one day accompanied by an engagement ring and later even a wedding ring. But we'll see how it goes.

As soon as he get back, I'll give him something, and not just my purity ring.

Luckily I had an entire vacation to look for that perfect gift.

_**Eli's POV**_

I looked out of the window during the flight. I was really happy I had a window seat. Next to me there was some couple, I guess around the age of 35, wrapped into each other. I envied them. My biggest wish was for Clare to be here, right next to me. But she wasn't, and she wasn't going to be in the next couple of weeks. This week won't be hard with keeping in touch, but form next week on there'll be three really hard weeks. Not because of my work or anything, but the time difference. It's a six hour time difference, by the time I eat lunch she's having supper.

I listened to some music over my mp-3 and wished I could go on Skype or just anything to talk to Clare, but I had to wait until tomorrow. I was wondering what she thought of the ring. I really hoped she liked it. Don't get the wrong impression. I wrote the letter today, but I bought the ring a few days earlier. It was all part of my fairytale. Well, at least something to show Clare how much she means to me and that I'll always be with her. It really wasn't a "thanks for the sex"- ring. If it was Cece wouldn't have been so enthusiastic about it. _"Eli, Clare will love that, just like any other girl, it's perfect."_ Cece was the best mother ever, but sometimes I wish she wasn't so happy about everything. Though I prefer this to the situation at Clare's first. Although Helen seems to doesn't hate me anymore, the first time was hell.

I guess I fell asleep because all of a sudden we were landing near New York. The airport was ten times the size of the one in Toronto and I almost got lost while looking for my suitcase.

Brett Barnett even arranged me a chauffeur, though he said only this time so I could find my place and would have no excuses to not show up in time.

I entered the apartment and it was nice. Not too big and a bit too white for my taste, but it had a nice kitchen and a soft bed.

I looked at the clock and saw it already was 2 am, so I decided to head to bed so I could be in time tomorrow. I guess Clare will have to wait until tomorrow.

I woke up around 7 am by some annoying alarm and headed towards the shower, well more like trying to drag myself, but still. I took a nice warm shower and texted Clare.

_I miss you, you would love it here. Have fun without me :( jk. Love you _

I dressed up and took off in the direction of the set.


	6. Holiday part 1

_**Author's note:**_I guessed I based a big part on the first summer ep. though, of course not entirely. Its the first time in my life I ever tried to write something slight more sexual, tell me if you want like more,, or not or whether I should change it to M..

I hope you enjoy.. and **review review review~**

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**Chapter 6:**

**Holiday part 1**

_**Clare's POV**_

I woke up and I grabbed my phone. Eli had texted me and I was happier than I should be. I almost felt like a ten-year old girl. He was gone for three days now, and it was every morning like this. I texted him back and just lay in my bed for a moment.

I looked at the time and decided to take a nice hot shower before Alli and Jenna would show up.

We had so much left to buy before going to Paris, at least according to Jenna and Alli, since 'with my current wardrobe I would look like a tourist'.

I grabbed some breakfast after my shower and turned on the television. I went through all the channels, but nothing was good. I stopped at some children's channel and watched POKéMON. As child I always liked to watch it when my parents weren't around, since I wasn't allowed to do so. If someone knew this side of me, I would die out of humiliation I guess.

After twenty minutes I heard the bell ringing and I turned off the television to leave to the city.

Alli and Jenna were waiting outside and we headed towards the town.

"So, can we now get the most detailed story ever about you and Eli?", Jenna started.

I laughed and answered: "What do you want to know? How he took away my pride, how he was a prince or how the set is?"

"Well, what about everything? Just make sure not too leave out any juicy details."

"Okay, after we left for the hotel, Eli was being the sweetest guy ever. And yes, I know I said we weren't getting back together, but I was only convincing myself I guess. So the room was like one of those film hotel rooms with candles and everything. And thanks to you guys", I paused for a second and looked at them, "I was nervous, but Eli convinced me and it was perfect. It couldn't have been more perfect."

Jenna giggled and Alli softly hit her.

We entered the first shop and tried on some dresses. Alli wanted me to buy a blue one to match my eyes. We were almost doing a fashion show, grading each dress.

After ten more shops and 100 dollars per person, we felt done.

On the way back we walked passed a lingerie shop. Jenna looked at the set in the window. It was a black set with a sort of corset on the top and some lace on the underpants.

"So, what do Eli and you do now you can't see him?", Jenna started.

My cheeks immediately changed shades red and I answered: "We're not doing anything, it's weird with him all the way there. Why?"

"Well, a guy has it's needs, and maybe if you don't give it to him..", Jenna said.

Fear hit me and I desperately entered the shop, not realizing I, former Saint Clare, was buying sexy lingerie.

There was a cute set in the store. It was a blue set with also a corset, though with some bows on it and I decided to buy that one, since it would be the least embarrassing one.

I took my phone and decided to call Eli. After two rings he answered.

"I'm on my way with the coffee, Brett."

"Eli, it's me. I just wanted to ask you to come on Skype tonight. I've got a little surprise."

"But my princess, I was already planning to do so. I'll talk to you around 7 okay? Love you."

"Love you too", I answered and I could hear Jenna and Alli giggle.

_**Eli's POV**_

I liked working for Brett Barnett, don't get me wrong, but I prefer spending time with my precious girl. So as soon as we were finished I headed home and I turned on my laptop while eating some pizza. I knew I was half an hour early, but I just couldn't wait for her to be online.

Luckily, after fifteen minutes and a pizza I heard the familiar Skype ring-tone. I answered before the second ring and I was looking at my beautiful girl. Her brown curly hair was styled perfect as if she spent hours getting ready. I almost started feeling guilty so I told Clare I'd be back in five minutes and went to change my clothes and did my hair a bit.

Clare was wearing a blue dress which really accentuated her eyes, those beautiful blue orbs.

"You look beautiful, that dress really suits you", I said and she started blushing.

"By the way, what is your surprise? I mean, if it's the dress, then I say it's perfect."

Clare blushed some more before replying: "Actually it's something else."

And while she said this she grabbed the back of her dress and unzipped it. I didn't know what to think. Were we going to do.. stuff in front of the cam?

I could see Clare feeling awkward by it.

"Are you sure you want this, my dear?", I asked and she sighed.

"Yes, I mean, what if some stupid girl tries to seduce you and your, uhm, needs, are high."

I laughed at that reply. "As if any girl would ever be as good as you."

Still she continued and she revealed a new set of lingerie. I would lie if I said it didn't work on me, but it was stunning. It suited her perfectly in the same shade of blue her dress was.

I was stunned for a second before Clare started talking: "I guess now you have to take something off." I never pulled off my shirt that fast. Even though I was skinny, I knew Clare didn't mind.

I heard some sounds at Clare's side and she disappeared for a second.

In the meanwhile I decided to undress further. By the time Clare returned she looked surprised, as if she never expected full nudity. Clare was still innocent sweet Saint Clare on the inside I guess.

"Uhm, Eli, I'm not ready for.. this", she said and I covered up. "I knew I shouldn't have listened to Jenna." Of course, who else would make her do this.

"It's no problem my princess, I can enjoy just your presence already. Though, I wouldn't mind looking at that dress or that underwear." She smiled and showed me once again.

Again noise at Clare's side.

"Ugh, I have to go for now, my mom is yelling me. I'll be back in I guess half an hour."

"See you then my princess."

And Clare logged off.

Although I didn't like giving in to my needs, now was the moment I had to. I never expected just watching Clare sitting in her underwear like this would turn me on this much.

I thought of Clare and although my hands weren't as sufficient as Clare's they had to do. I walked to the bathroom, so I wouldn't make a mess and started to jerk off.

"Clare, Clare", I moaned softly at the beginning. I thought of Clare's wonderful body, of Clare's touch against my lips, against my arm, against my dick. I thought of that wonderful night after prom, I thought of her eyes, looking at me with pure lust.

My eyes were wide open and I moaned Clare one last time, before I came.

I cleaned up everything and dressed again.


	7. Holiday part 2

_**Author's note:**_Well, I have no idea whether people actually read my story.. SO pleaasse give me reviews, even if you hated it or have some tips (no I'm not gonna set a minimum on the reviews before uploading new stuff, cuz I don't just write it for you, but also for myself (selfish huh?)).. I'm not going to much in details on the summer vacation, at least not yet I guess.. Well enjoy and.._ **review review review**~_

Ps: If you guys would see m weird music playlist.. you would go nuts :')

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Chapter 7:

Holiday part 2

_**Clare's POV**_

"Come on Clare, I kept this seat for you, so come here ASAP", Alli said.

Today was the day Alli and I would go to Paris. I was looking forward to most of it, except the fact talking to Eli would be almost impossible.

"Yeah, yeah, I'm coming." Next to us were Jenna and Conner. It was and odd combination, but it worked somehow.

"So, got the schedule for Paris?", Alli said. I knew she wasn't referring to anything school-related, but I still enjoyed it. "Of course, day one getting lost, day two visiting th Louvre, day three the Eiffel tower-", Alli interrupted me. "You mean, getting lost and finding cute boys, hear about the Louvre at some cute little café and going to the Eiffel tower with the guy I felt in love with."

I laughed. "Alli, remember, we're not just here for the boys, it's a schooltrip and besides, Eli would kill me if I'd flirt too much."

Last night we even had a long conversation about the entire trip.

"_I promise I will stick with Alli and not do anything reckless."_

"_How can I trust Alli, the girl who's looking for a French guy. Maybe she's going to couple you too, with some amazing French guy."_

"_Are you in France then?"_

"_Haha Edwards, at least let me know when you arrive. I want you to be safe. Tell me everything about the journey in the weekends or something, but if even one guy dares to touch you, I swear, I'll be in France before you can say baguette."_

"_Eli, trust me. I'm all in, just for you. I mean I am already longing to the end of the holiday. I miss you."_

"_I miss you too, Clare. But don't be afraid, I will always be with you. Even if you don't want me to."_

"_I love you." "Love you too."_

"I envy you Clare, having a steady boyfriend. And not as weird as I thought at first."

"Thanks Alli. I'm sure you'll find one too, but please don't do that in France, it'll make school so much harder."

We laughed and the bus left to the airplane.

The travel was nice. Alli and I talked a lot and during the plane flight I slept most of the time.

We finally arrived at the hotel in France at 2 pm, or in France, 8 pm. Stupid time difference.

I texted Eli as soon as possible and put away my stuff at the hotel room. I shared a room with Jenna and Alli, but I didn't mind. I'd rather spend my days with them than alone making myself crazy about Eli.

"Ugh, Clare give that guy some rest. We need to gather downstairs, so are you coming?", Alli said already grabbing my arm.

All the rules were explained such as curfew and the eating times.

We went back to the room and I was fixated on my phone to buzz. Luckily it didn't take too long.

_Thanks honey, at least one worry less. I love you, have fun_

He melted my heart with his texts.

_**Eli's POV**_

Clare was in France, the country of love. I felt awful for being here instead of there, but I guess I'll have to live with that.

"Eli, can you come here?", I heard behind me.

It was one of the actresses, Hannah,

"sure, what's wrong?", I asked. "I need someone to zip me up. Can you please help?", she asked pouting. I sighed and zipper her up before continuing my own work.

It didn't take too long before it was finally 5 pm and I was able to go home. By the time I finally arrived it was already 6 pm so with a little hope I logged in on Skype, and luckily Clare was still online.

**Eli-gold49: **Still awake at this hour of the day, surprising Saint Clare.

**Clare-e23: **You know me, I like living on the edge.

**Clare-e23: **It's not like you didn't expect me, since who else would you chat with haha

**Eli-gold49:** Well, for your information, miss Edwards, I also got different friends, like Adam.

**Clare-e23: **Just admit you wanted to speak me

**Eli-gold49: **Okay okay, I can't live a day without. Now happy

**Clare-e23:** very.

**Eli-gold49: **Did you already meet a cute Jean-Pierre or Jacques?

**Clare-e23: **I met some annoying freshmen, but that's about it. We arrived at 8, remember?

**Clare-e23: **How about you? Aren't all the actresses hanging around you like an idiot?

**Eli-gold49:** But of course, no one can resist the Goldsworthy charm.

**Clare-e23:** smug

**Eli-gold49:** ouch, you mean mean miss Edwards.

**Clare-e23: **Well, I hope they know to stay away from you, or else..

**Eli-gold49: **Or else what?

**Clare-e23:** I'm coming to scare them all

**Eli-gold49: **So.. If I understand right.. If I do stuff with girls, I get sexy girls and you here.. hmm, might think about that

**Clare-e23: **DON'T YOU DARE!

**Eli-gold49:** You know I would never hurt my princess like that.

**Clare-e23: **aww, that's sweet 3

**Clare-e23: **But.. I'm going to try to sleep.. stupid jet lag.. I love you xx

**Eli-gold49:** I love you too my queen

-Clare Edwards signed off-

Ugh, it still was just 6:30 pm and I didn't know what to do, so I went for the best solution, reading one of my favorite books.

Eventually I fell asleep with the book still in my hands.

_**Clare's POV**_

_Eli was holding hands with a cute girl, tall blond and skinny, and I was watching. Watching how he cheated on me. How he kissed another girl, while I was held back by Asher. Asher who tried to seduce me at first but used more and more force over the time. _

"_Eli, save me please."_

"_Eli, I love you, why are you doing this?"_

"_Eli!"_

_Eli finally looked at me and said: "Clare, stop dragging your past, enjoy the moment."_

_And at that cue he started the most intense make-out session with the girl. They would continue, undressing, making love. And I, I was undressed by Asher who told me I was the one who wanted this. Asher tried to enter me and.._

I woke up, sweat on my forehead. It was all just a dream. But even though it was a dream, I could feel tears wiggling down my cheek.

I looked at the clock and saw it was only 3 am. I had these dreams ever since Eli left, but this week in Paris they got worse, today being the worst.

I searched for my phone and called my favorite number.

After the first ring it was answered.

"Hey Clare. What's wrong, shouldn't you be sleeping?", Eli asked. Just hearing his voice was most of the times enough, but not this time.

"I-I miss you",I sobbed.

"I'm here, always for you." Now my tears really started.

"Did I say something wrong?", he asked concerned.

"No, I just had the most awful dream ever. You were there, wi-with a different girl, not paying attention to me a-and..", I gulped before continuing, "Asher."

"Clare, it was just a dream, just-", but I interrupted him. "It wasn't like the other times, Asher actually raped me and you-you were having sex with the girl. I wished you were here, and not surrounded by some good-looking actresses."

"Honey, I only look at you. The most intimate thing I've done was helping to close a zipper."

"I'm sorry. I trust you, but the dream felt so real."

"No problem Clarebear, just try to sleep some more. I will always protect you. I love you."

"I love you too, good night"

"Goodnight my love."

And we ended the phone call. It took a while but after a glass of water and rolling around for about fifteen minutes, I was finally able to sleep again.


	8. Holiday part 3

_**Author's note:** _Hi guys, I'm already going to apoligize about the next two weeks. I mean, normal people would've time during a holiday, but not me. Le boyfriend and I are together for 2 years now and tomorrow (well in the netherlands it's today since it's already 1 am) we're going to "celebrate it" ( though also the fact I finally have some time off, I didn't have a fall break and I'm exhausted) after my last test :3. I pwomise I'll make up for it after the holidays though :3 really.

I actually don't know if I really like this chapter, but I wanted to give you at least something and for a chapter with writer's block it's pretty awesome I guess :D (really, weeks like these are terrible for me, school and such sucks and i'm going to switch studies next year so yeah..)

Btw: I was adviced to make the rating M instead of T. I changed it, though in Dutch highschool books it's worse. Really, the stuff I wrote down last chapter were stuff I read at 14. But hey, I guess we dutch people are a bit different :'). If someone thinks i shouldn't have done this, tell me.

I hope you guys enjoy and... **review review review~**

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_**Eli's POV**_

Calls kept coming about nightmares, a little worse every time, but after a week it suddenly stopped.

I was wondering if something had changed, so after waiting for three days instead of talking to Clare, who probably would lie to me if something was wrong, I texted Alli.

_Is she alright? I mean, all of a sudden she doesn't call anymore about nightmares. Not that I don't want her to be happy, she just should know I'm here for her._

It didn't take Alli long to reply.

_I think something's up. She's been acting weird this last couple of days and seems tired._

I knew it. I knew this would be bad. After I got some information I decided to call Clare.

It rang four times before going to voice mail. I tried again a few minutes later with the same result.

I was working again on the set, trying to set Clare off my mind. I was just counting down the days until I would see her again.

After five minutes or something like that I received a text message from Alli.

_She left her phone at home and is out by herself. I just walked into an empty room._

Fuck, I never expected something like this to happen.

_**Clare's POV**_

I kept walking and walking through Paris, no idea where I had to go. I had to escape my life, my nightmares, everything.

I know I shouldn't pay much attention to a dream, but they kept becoming worse and worse. At first I was still calling Eli, but now I just couldn't. I couldn't tell him about the dreams and I didn't want to bother him anymore with my dreams.

I didn't notice I actually started crying but when I felt tears on my cheeks.

I looked up for the first time in ten minutes and saw I somehow walked towards the Eiffel tower.

Of course, only Clare runs right to the point people will first start looking for me. I could almost hit myself for this kind of behavior. I sat down on a little café and drank some coffee, which didn't taste anything like the American coffee, and tried to figure out what to do next. Alli has probably found out by now and is looking for me. As long as she doesn't say anything to Eli, please it's all I wish for. I don't want to imagine how worried he would be. Not even gone for a day and already I'm feeling guilt.

I decided to continue walking after I paid and while I was looking around in some cute allies someone suddenly grabbed my arm with force and pulled me away in a smaller darker ally. I looked behind me, but I didn't recognize the person, due to the figure I could see it was a man but I couldn't see his face.

I screamed for him to let go off me and he hit me in the face.

"Shut up, or I'll do something worse", he threatened with the worst accent ever. If the situation would've been different, I probably wouldn't had been able to not laugh.

I was crying. Crying for leaving Eli alone, ditching Alli, getting caught by this guy. I cried because I'm a horrible person.

"I swear, stop it now, or you'll regret it", he hissed.

I tried to stop crying and tried to think. There had to be a way out. I didn't know why, but I was afraid of screaming for help. I didn't see anyone around, which made screaming even more frightening, by the time people would reach me, we would be gone.

The man started groping me. First over my shirt, then under my shirt.

Tears kept running over my face. I even betrayed Eli. I let other people touch me without fighting.

After a few minutes I felt his hand lowering and got scared.

All of a sudden I remembered Eli's tip about annoying guys, so I followed his advice and kicked the man in the nuts. He let out a weird sound and fell down on the ground. I ran away from the man towards the Eiffel tower, when all of a sudden I was grabbed again, but from a different direction.

I was relieved to see it were Alli, Jenna and Connor.

I started crying again, from fear but also out of relieve.

"Care to tell where you went all by yourself, young lady?", Alli asked looking at me like a mother who was about to punish her five-year old, "I was worried sick and so was Eli, who know what could've happened."

Alli told Eli. Of course I could've expected it, but I still wished it wasn't true.

"I'm sorry Alli, I wasn't thinking. I was being an idiot. Was Eli really that worried?"

"Yeah, it's the best to call him as soon we get back."

"By the way", Connor said, "Why were you running out of that ally crying?"

I started crying again so Alli and Jenna decided it was first time to sit down at some café.

We sat down at the same place I sat just 20 minutes ago, so I felt a little embarrassed.

After we relaxed a bit and talked about the cute waiter -well, Alli talked about it and Jenna and I were just nodding, acting like we cared-, Jenna asked: "So, do you want to tell us now what happened?"

I looked down and started telling.

"Well, I've been having nightmares since we got here, all about Eli and Asher and this night it was the worst dream of them all. I was just holding and kissing Eli when all of a sudden Eli changed into Asher and Asher started to-to harass me. So when I woke up I got dressed and tried to decide what to do. I planned on running away since no one would ever find me in France. I mean, I didn't want to bother anyone with my little teen problems. But of course, me and my stupid head walked directly towards the Eiffel tower. When I figured out about that, I sat down at this café, so guys if the waiter looks weird I was here like 30 minutes ago, and after I paid and was cooled down a bit I decided to look into some allies to see more the culture of the people instead of the tourism. After I walked for a while, someone grabbed my arm and pulled me into a dark ally", I paused for a second and looked at Alli and Jenna both scared, "and the man who grabbed me started to harass me, but not the way Asher did. He went for it directly and threatened me to not make any sounds or he'd do something to me. It took me a while, but when my head was clearing up I remembered the best thing to do is to kick someone in the nuts, so I tried and ran off. That's about the moment Connor grabbed my arm."

There was a long silence and you could feel the tension. "I'm sorry", I said and Alli started to hug me.

"Don't be, as long as you promise never to do this again."

We looked at the time and rushed back for diner. Luckily we still had a few spare minutes, so I decided to go on Skype instead of calling.

After the first ring he answered.

"Clare? Is that you? God let it be you". I could see he had been crying and it broke my heart.

"Yes it's me. I'm sorry I made you worry like this. My head went mad and I didn't think about it."

"Well, at least you're okay. I can't wait to protect you again." I started crying.

"Clare what's wrong?"

"I-I-I miss you, and I need you, need you to hold me, to keep me sane to keep away scary guys in France."

"SCARY GUYS IN FRANCE?", he repeated an I realized I shouldn't have said that.

"What happened?", he asked worried.

I told him the story I'd told Alli and Jenna before.

"Never ever walk away again you hear, miss Edwards? NEVER. And text and call me EVERY DAY."

I knew he was going to be worried until the day I got back in Canada and it was my fault, but I couldn't change it anymore.

"I'm sorry Eli, I'm so sorry."

"Don't be, I know you did something wrong, but you could never has guessed this would happen. I'm just glad you're okay. I would crush if something were to happen to you. At least you reminded my awesome self-defense ways. Maybe you'll also be able to keep up with me when I have a fight with someone one day."

"Smug."

"It's not my fault I'm so perfect." I giggled. He was perfect. We were perfect and no one was ever allowed to doubt that.

Someone knocked on the door. Alli smiled and said: "it's diner time. And hi Eli. We rescued her aren't you proud?"

"yes I am, I don't know what I would do without my princess." I blushed and Alli smiled. "Well, I give you two lovebirds a minute", and she left.

"Well, I guess that's my cue. I love you and can't wait to call you about my nightmares tonight", I joked.

He smirked and said: "I can't wait how you can make me be so bad again. I love you too." We did and internet kiss and I logged off

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_**Happy holidays~**_


	9. shopping dans la france

_**Author's note:** _I LIEDD I LIEEDD. there's still an updat before I gandalf you (my friends say m brother gandalfs people, because he always disappears all of sudden and comes back wayy later with a longer beard (male kind of EXP i guess)) because someone wanted me to come back asap and i finished my test quickly and my boyfriend won't be home for another two hours (though i have to travel for an hour but hey xD)

Well maybe i'll write something on friday, but don't pin me down on that I said maybe.. Enough blablabla from me... have fun reading and... wait for it...** review review review~**

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_**Chapter 9:**_

_** Shopping dans la france**_

_**Clare's POV**_

It was already the last day of Paris. I kept my promise to Eli and called, texted and skyped with him almost everyday. I liked it, but at the same I got the feeling I was twelve again and no one trusted me by myself, but I guess they did have a legitimate reason.

The entire group gathered downstairs to hear the plans about the day.

"Bonjour classe, aujourd'hui est nous dernier jour", she said and many people looked at her wondering what it meant. Really they took French and didn't know it meant it was the last day.

"Tonight were going out for diner to a formal restaurant, so I expect you to look formal. A dress or a suit preferably, but at least no jeans or t-shirts or you won't be able to enter the restaurant."

I rolled my eyes. Of course, the only thing I didn't bring was a dress like that. Of course I'd brought dresses, but they were all summer dresses and not really suitable for the occasion.

Alli ticked me on my shoulder. "Shopping time?"

I smiled and nodded.

We went with just the two of us. Connor and Jenna were to caught up with acting like a couple and I sighed. I missed Eli so much I almost felt overly attached. Well, delete the almost, I just felt overly attached. But it wouldn't be long anymore before I could be with him again.

We were already looking in the fifth shop and still hadn't found anything even a bit suitable or payable. It was always one of the two. But it finally looked faith was on our side.

"Sale", Alli screamed and ran towards the dresses.

She pulled out a beautiful dark red dress and a ton of different dresses for her and me to fit.

We were holding a fashion show and showed the dresses to each other. Of course the dark red one looked beautiful on Alli but she thought it wasn't sexy enough and I rolled with my eyes. "Yeah, because maybe on of the waiters would think she would be hot, but that dress just ruins everything."

"Ow haha Clare, okay I'll take it, how about you?"

I sighed. Nothing looked as beautiful on me as it did on Alli and I only had two dresses left to fit, a black sophisticated one and the same dress in navy blue.

After five minutes debating I left the dressing room in the black dress and Alli started whistling. "You sexy beast, all guys will stare at you. Eli would go mad if he were here." I blushed and went back in to fit the navy blue one.

When I walked out Alli was quiet, looking amazed. "...Wow Clare, it looks like it's made for you."

I smiled and I guess she was right. It was beautiful, I was beautiful.

"I'm taking it."

We paid and went to drink on some café. This trip was all my money of the last four months and a bit more, but it was worth it.

"Watch my stuff, I have to go use the bathroom", Alli said and I started smiling. "Maybe you shouldn't drink so much coffee, it runs right through you haha."

While Alli was gone I texted Eli about tonight and how I would come back tomorrow, though he was still in New York. All of a sudden Alli's phone started to go off and I looked at her phone.

It was Mike Dallas.

_Can't wait 'til you're back, foxy lady. Maybe some skinny dipping instead of ruining our underwear next time ;)?_

I put her phone back and waited for her to come back. I couldn't tell her I looked at her phone, but it was hard not to mention it. She and Dallas was the last I'd expected.

"Alli, someone texted you, maybe you should check." She did and started blushing.

"Who's it and why are you blushing?", I asked with my best acting skills.

"Uhm no one, not important it was Sav."

"Come on Alli you're blushing. Who was it?"

"Mike Dallas, I talked to him while you were dealing with Asher and yeah some stuff happened."

I never realize how my problems had affected Alli. But Mike had changed in a positive way I guess, he wasn't the guy of the party anymore at least.

"Alli and Dallas are sitting in a tree K-I-S-S-I-N-G", I joked and she started to blush again.

"You actually like him? Well, you first to introduce him properly to me so I can give you permission", I said.

"Yes mom, now let's pay and start preparing for tonight." We laughed and left.

That evening Alli and I walked to the restaurant together with Connor and Jenna. Since the incident we always went with Connor in the evening. He could at least try to protect us.

We entered and everyone was looking at us.

All of a sudden we saw some niner throwing red wine over a dress of another niner. They got in a fight and we had to almost tore them apart. Alli went with the girl to fix up her dress and I sat down with the other girl.

"Okay, everyone could see you did it on purpose. Why?"

"She stole my boyfriend." I rolled my eyes.

"See her?", I pointed at Jenna, "She stole my first boyfriend and I never did this stuff no matter what happened, it's childish and you should stand above it."

The rest of the evening was quiet and after diner Alli and I packed our bags.

"I can't wait to be back, although I'm going to miss this place", Alli sighed and I couldn't agree more. The next day we left around noon and arrived around noon, Canadian time.

_**Eli's POV**_

I knew Clare's plane had just landed and she was safe in the boarders of Canada again. I couldn't wait until I was back either. It was awful with Clare so far away, but this wouldn't make it easier at all. I had to wait for another week before going back, and I already went back earlier than expected.

I'd explained Brett Barnett the situation with my girlfriend and he told me to leave a week early.

My phone ringed and I saw a picture of Clare.

"Bonjour madame", I said, "safe and sound back at home I hope."

"Yeah, only missing a leg and an arm so it could've been worse."

"I hope your left arm."

"Why?", she asked. I wasn't sure if she was being oblivious or just acted that way.

"Well, it would be a shame if you lost your right arm as a righty."

"EWWW, seriously Eli? That's the first thing you think about, you're such a perv."

"You know what they say about men. And it's even worse if your girlfriend is as beautiful as mine, then it's hard to be without her."

"How do you do that every time? You say something dirty and knows to put it in such way that I start to blush, not fair."

"I just know your weak spot Edwards. But I got to go, still at the set and Brett is probably wonering if I had to pluck the coffee beans by now. I love you, talk to you tonight."

"I hope I'm still awake then, stupid jet lag. Love you too."

I picked up a new coffee and went to Brett.

"Sorry it took me so long sir, my girlfriend didn't think I was working and wanted to let me know she arrived in Canada, so I was distracted for a moment."

"No problem son, I can see it was important for you and this coffee-", he took a zip, "makes up for everything."

I smiled and went back to help with the actresses until Brett called me.

"Is there something I can do sir?"

"Well, I want to give you the opportunity to get some real experience, and since one of the actors is ill, I want you to take over his part. You're waiter number 1."

My eyes grew big. Of course my big dream is director, but some field experience isn't bad either.

"Thank you sir, you won't regret it. Not even for a second."

"Well, prove that to me, go to the dressing room and show me you can doe more than making amazing coffee and helping around a bit. Maybe if you do well, I can give you another assignment."

So there I was, dressed like a waiter in the movie. It was a minor role, but I got to talk and act a bit and Brett seemed impressed by the speed I followed his points and how quickly I knew the lines.

I think this was one of the best days ever.


	10. welcome back

_**Author's note:** _Holiday is over and I'm back (though i don't think anyone cares, but I just act like someone does :D). I got like the nicest 4 weeks of university EVER, so i'm gonna try to upload a lot. But don't kill me if i don't.  
I actually feel terrible about this chapter. I mean, I left for almost 3 weeks and i give you a crappy sort-of filler chapter with slight smut (really, i find it so hard to write about it, how do people do that?)... but i just didn't know how to write this chapter differently... maybe i'll rewrite it on a day, but i doubt it. If peeps have ideas, i'd love t hear them.. well.. ENJOY READING AND... **review, review review~**

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_**Chapter 10:  
**_

_**Welcome back**_

_**Eli's POV**_

"_Ladies and gentlemen, we've landed in Toronto. We want to thank for flying with our airlines, enjoy your stay and until a next time."_

That was my cue to loosen my seatbelt and leaving the plane.

I had mixed feelings in the airplane about coming back. Don't get me wrong, I couldn't wish for anything more than Clare, but I had the time of my life on the set. I prove I had to become a director and I couldn't wait until next year at NYU.

When I got out the plane the only people on the airport were my parents, but that was because of two reasons. One, I had a plane that landed at 7 a.m. And two, I had begged them not to tell Clare I was coming home early. I wanted it to be a surprise.

I ran towards them and hugged them. I guess that's not very manly or anything but I didn't care. I was happy to be back at them.

"He babyboy, you're finally back, we missed you so much", my mom was saying and my dad was just laughing.

"Mom, dad I'm also happy to be back, but let's head home before more people start to stare at dad." Bullfrog's voice was loud and getting lots of attention.

"Okay, let's go to the car", Bullfrog said.

On the ride back we told each other many stories, well mainly I told a lot about how I played in the film and how the working had been, but that didn't matter since it was nice to tell all this stuff.

I ate at home and spent some time with my parents until it was an appropriate time to head to Clare.

I'd changed clothes after a long shower and left.

_**Clare's POV**_

_Eli was holding me tight. It was a nice evening in the moonlight. _

_We kissed, rougher and rougher. Eli didn't stop, Eli began to force me. It wasn't Eli anymore. It was Asher and Eli was somewhere else somewhere far away. "Come on Newsie, I know you want it. No one else wants you."_

_I saw Eli, kissing some shady figure._

I woke up with tears in my eyes. It wasn't the worst nightmare I've had but still it hurts. It hurts to see Eli with someone else, even more than it hurts what Asher did to me.

I turned on the tv to watch some mindless cartoons. I had to distract myself from my nightmares.

By then I saw it was 6.59 am, or with different words way too early for my holiday. I groaned and continued watching cartoons until I fell asleep again.

I woke up, nightmare-free, and heard my mom talking and knocking on my door.

"Ugh, mom really I just woke up", I groaned, but when I looked at the door I didn't see my mom.

"What are you doing here?", I asked.

"Hi Eli, how are you? Good Clare how about you, thanks for asking", he said with smirk on his face and walked towards my bed.

"Yeah yeah I know, but I thought you weren't coming back for another week", Clare begun to quickly say: "Don't think I don't like it, I'm really glad you're back."

"Of course, who wouldn't be happy to see me?", I said and I kissed her.

"Smug", she said after the kiss, to continue kissing afterwards.

"So how was your holiday by far?", Eli asked.

As if I hadn't told him. Well, I hadn't told him every little detail, but I'm pretty sure I told the basics of what happened.

"Really Eli? I talked to you every day about my trip and everything and you ask this?"

All of a sudden I realized I was still in my pajamas. Not that it was an embarrassing one, since it was just some sweat jeans and a top, but still.

"Uhm Eli, could you wait downstairs for a moment? I'm going to take a quick shower."

"Ow, especially for me? I'm flattered."

Normally I would have given an answer back, but the red on my cheeks already told on me.

"Be right back."

The shower was nice, but I didn't shower for too long. I decided to wear the blue lingerie I bought together with a dress. After doing my hair and make up I went back to my room to see Eli lying in my bed, shirtless. Damn I'd missed seeing that. I know I sound all obsessed and everything but he was beautiful, just perfect. Yes, he was skinny but I loved every inch about his body. I sometimes wish I was that skinny.

"You're allowed to touch it if you want", Eli said pulling me out of my thoughts. Damn, I had been staring for way too long.

"By the way blue eyes, you look gorgeous", he said and smiled. I blushed and looked at him.

"So do you, green eyes." We ended up in kissing again.

"Clare, Glen and I are going away for a while. Behave the two of you", I heard my mom scream.

I smiled. This meant we had the house to ourselves since Jake was somewhere in the middle of nowhere working on a land.

I looked at Eli with a naughty look and started to bite his neck softly.

I heard a soft moan, stopped and smiled.

"Now you're going to get it", Eli said and he started to bite my neck.

I couldn't suppress my moaning for long and when I finally let one out, Eli did the same as I had done.

I stood up and closed my bedroom door, just in case.

I walked back and whispered: "I love you Eli."

"I love you too, Clare."

I started kissing him again and crawled on top of him, my hands stroking over his upper body.

Eli seemed to be taking the hint and started to untie my dress and pulled it off.

He looked at me and saw the lingerie set.

"Damn, it looks even better in real life. Never wear such things if you want me to keep off, Edwards."

I giggled and kissed him again. I could feel him getting aroused more and more until he rolled me over so he was on top.

Slowly his hands went to my back, and he opened my bra and started to play a little with my breasts.

He stopped kissing me and continued with biting my neck.

I'd missed this feeling. Not that I'm some kind of a sex addict, but being intimate with Eli was special.

"Eli", I moaned softly.

I pulled off his pants and underwear and saw him completely.

And I would lie if I said the male part is even the slightest attractive, but I didn't mind it either.

He followed my lead by taking off my last piece of clothing and he took over the lead by slowly lowering his hands to my clit and started rubbing it.

Even though we did this stuff earlier, every time it feels so new, so intensive, so.. good.

After a while I could feel a finger slipping in and somehow it totally drove me mad, even more than other times, except for maybe the first time.

"Eli, I want you here and now", I tried to whisper, though it came out more like a moan.

Still Eli got the hint and took a condom out of his wallet.

We were making love, for the second time ever.

_**Eli's POV**_

I lay next to Clare and kissed her.

It was just as special as the first time.

But that made sense, since it was Clare, my beautiful Clare.

"Blue eyes, I love you", I whispered in her ear.

"I love you too, Eli, with my entire heart", she whispered back and she kissed me.

I looked for her hand and we intertwined our fingers.

After a while I sighed.

"Clare, I don't want to ruin the mood and such, but do you mind going to my house. I bet Cece and Bullfrog can't wait to see you either."

She smiled at me: "Of course, I missed them too. I mean, I talked to Cece, but not as often as before. I'll leave a note and then we'll go okay?"

"But of course, beautiful", I kissed her and started to get dressed.

We left the house and started heading towards my place.


	11. Becky

_**Atuhor's note:**_Ugh, i promised to write more, then just skip a week and give this short piece. Sorry i was totally stuck, but now i can finally continue :3 so sorry for the short chapter, but i'll make up for it, i promise

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_**Chapter 11: **_

_**Becky**_

_**Eli's POV**_

We'd spent the afternoon at my parent's and were heading towards Adam.

I should've called him when I got back, but this is also fine I guess.

We knocked on the door and his mom, Audra, said we could go to his room.

Clare went to the bathroom and I went ahead, but just before I entered his room I could hear him crying.

I knocked on his door and looked at my best friend crying.

"Go away", Adam said without looking up, "I don't want to talk about it."

"Well, that's the best way to greet your best friend after almost 6 weeks."

He looked up and smiled. "God, and the first thing you see is me crying like a girl. Tough luck I guess."

"Dude, I'll be right back. Give me second", I said to Adam and I went to Clare.

"Hey, can you wait here for a moment? I need a little guy to guy talk with Adam, but I promise it won't take too long."

Clare sighed but eventually agreed and went to the basement to watch some television.

I entered Adam's room again and started: "Spill it."

He was quiet for a second, but eventually started talking.

"It's Becky. She, uhm, she sort of cheated I think, and I screwed up", he said between his tears.

"Dude, I don't believe you screwed up bad enough yet. I mean, I drove my car into a wall and somehow Clare and I still get back together."

He looked up with some hope in his eyes. "You're sure? I mean, I violated her privacy."

"Dude, what did you do?"

"I logged on her fancerange and said to some guy she wasn't interested and he had to leave her alone, but he thought Becky said that stuff."

I shook my head. Adam's weird ideas. Well, I guess I would probably do the same, but that doesn't matter.

"Let's go t the basement, Clare is waiting for us", I said and we left.

_**Clare's POV**_

It was one of the best nights I've had in a while. The three misfits together.

Eli and Adam were gaming a lot and I was doomed to watch, because 'I play like a girl'.

Although that might be true, it would be fun to be at least a little part of the stuff. It felt as if Eli was dating Adam instead of me.

Eli and Adam seemed to notice after two hours and they put on a movie.

Of course it was some idiotic movie Adam wanted to see, but it could've been worse.

I cuddled with Eli until I had to go home.

Eli walked me home and went back to Adam's.

I kissed him goodnight and went inside.

I greeted my parents and went to bed.

_**Eli's POV**_

I went back to Adam to talk some more about Becky. I never really liked her, but hey, my best friend should have a good taste, so I assume she isn't as horrible as I thought.

When I entered the house again, Adam was on the phone.

"... no Becky, I will never do it again."

"Beckster, believe me. Please."

"I promise you."

"I love you."

Well, I guess he didn't need my help after all.

"So, no more drama?", I grinned.

"Nope, she trusts me and I will do everything to keep it that way."

"Cool man. Say, now that's over, shall we go to the city?"

"Sure, I'll drive."

We hopped in the car and Adam began to drive towards night-Toronto.

We went to a little bar to have something to drink.

"Dude, it's so awesome being out on the night. We should do this more often", Adam said. I smirked and drank our stuff.

After an hour or so I went to the bathroom.

Someone ticked on my shoulder and I knew something was wrong.

I felt a hit against my head and everything went black.


End file.
